DUDE, finally somebody showed me your tumblr and i saw some of the shit you said

uh YOU have no friends “barney”. ok maybe two , o greattt 2 frends. what the hell is ur problem? u noe everyone u ask “tell me the truth, what did she say about me” they say JACKSHIT cuz im not lying when i dont talk about  u! and its pretty funny they all tell me after u ask me huh? seriously chau, i am soo over it, i am sorry for that one immature act i did in the car (which is btw the person in the car with me’s idea)… so seriously stop talking about me.. michael said you read my tumblr so here you go. apparently you had one too and i just saw shit you wrote, seriously be yourself, get over it.  and my posts below are about you. nothing is fucking directed towards it you.. sheeesh!! so here’s my apology to you , it was deeper than you thought, but seriously i dont say shit about you anymore SO PLEASEE GET OVER YOURSELF and it.

Wait so why do people like comment so much on people’s fb statuses that they aren’t even close with in real life….????? i dont get it.. the people i do , i actually talk to on a normal basis. Why do people always want to befriend my friends so bad? Oh , and another reason why I got peeved mentioning my post before and just in general too, when ppl meet my friends they like take hella pics with them, even post it up as a fb pf pic and then like .. not even acknowledge i am there. that is where the shady comes in.

how gross, i have no clue what is going on in this class, so i am simultaneously fbing, tumblring, ustreaming, reading, writing, && i just saw my suitemate throw her cheat sheet in the trash, so i am in the process of going to get it and copying it LOL ughhhhhhh

and then i am probably going to start eating (fuck my detox ah) and then go to the village to study with Elisa.. or not. idk yet 

cheat sheets always suck , they are there for a false sense of security, but hardly anything on my cheat sheets are ever on the actual exams!!!

Side note: it has come to my attention that I actually know people who look at my blog, which is not the case I wanted as all (as to why i dont publicly advertise it on fb , aim, etc). And they assume posts are about them, TO YOU if you are reading again.. i just finally got that you thought my post about having a good bf or wtv was about you (i’m assuming since i was totally confused as to which one you could possibly interpret wrong) Get Off Your High Horse. idk what ur blog or wtv is but im sure i can inductively reason that some hate mails are about me, but TRUST me that post was to ALL WOMEN and ive said it many times (hence my tattoo) that let men run their lives. Dumbass Bitches i possibly should have said instead of dumbass bitch, however that bitch I actually was referring to somebody dating an Ex of mine (yes i have drama with everyone not just you so chill out hehe drama queen 4 lyfe?). I believe I was discussing how girls cling on to guys that obviously don’t treat them with respect, which I GUESS you assumed was you (which now i guess is sad that you actually feel that way towards your relationship since i had no clue.. you never talked to me about your bf that ONE time, but I honestly didn’t really care or really listen to what you said except the fact that he didn’t call or something like that.. but that was that one time seriously, I ‘ve never heard a thing about him after so anyway,) It wasn’t directed towards you(by any means) so its funny that someone will use it as an example on how i am “too mean” -_— LOL!!! LIke i said billionth time, i was fine with you and ready to settle our squabble (lol), but you went ahead and decided to run your mouth (i love it when people think other people don’t tell me shit.. all people are the same.. useless messengers). But i am totally cool with you and I do apologize for some immature actions, but I am 20 now, so it is over , so please stop being so cocky and think your feeble existence actually crosses my busy and productive life/ mind. But yes, this one , this one IS for you my love. G’dayy :) and Goodbye (forever please, which is why i Deleted you because i did not see a need to even know who you are) And I can do whatever the fuck I want in my own life , agree or disagree.

spring upon us! minus the earthquakes things have been cheeelinnnn! 

good quality and FUN people.. no more boringers .. lots of partying drinking blazing eating (ugh) and just no toxicity and if there is gootbye to that :)

moms been so good to me, boothang has been more than necessary, friends have been finally getting reall ass down 

gawshhhhhh this means a bad thing soon! eeek! 

Seriously, I don’t know. Release of stress & distraction to things I don’t want to think about. It’s not about the followers, it’s not about the comments, the notes.. It’s about what I like & for “me” time.

On that note.. sooooo… I think I’m norcal bound for spring break, but i don’t really know how i feel about it, sigh (especially since i have been unmotivated and definitely straying away from my goals and “letting go” as you will) UGH i don’t want to go back and have people be like oh wow..(which they will ofcourse)  ohwell. I will be more motivated after 10th week FUCKKMYYLIFEEEE my grades are so bad and the thing for college is you don’t ever have to go to class.. so that’s what i do: don’t go to class haha.

Pero, anywayysss.. Norcal, how I miss you.. Honestly I can see raising a family in tino/ san ho with the abundance of great asian food in Cupertino Village and Lavics :D! I love socal for fun and party and shit, but nothing can beat the vibe and PEOPLE of norcal. I wish socal had norcal people, that would be the best. I mean socal people are chill, but not for me..too materialistic? too .. i don’t know just too MUCH at times. (but it’s just since I am norcal bred) SO yeahhhh..

On a side note: YAY minahh <33, i am so hungover! r u? pho! lol :)<3 newest follower! (hypocrisy to ^ yadigg)

On another side note: minah says i look too innocent to look like me in my main picture

<—-

but that does tend to happen with me and pictures. ;) idk why, maybe i’ll just TRY to be more innocent — nah that can never happen

Isn’t it funny how life can give you so many highs, literally and metaphorically, and then drop you down to the deepest pit of despair? I can get the sense of how those once mega famous child stars feel as they begin to fade into oblivion…

Don’t get me wrong, I really hate complaining (but what’s the use of a blog if not for this purpose) because I have a wonderful boyfriend, who would do anything for me and loves me more than life itself (& i feel so bad for you who have to constantly worry about your significant others or whose significant others don’t even both to call you *HINT* they find you insanely burdening and it means they don’t love you enough dumbass bitch :D ok.. that was side ramble) and a family who has NEVER pushed me to do anything that i don’t want to do.

..But, I want more and/or I want what I can never have. Even when I had everything, I wanted more, more, more. I guess I’m narcissistic or this is just a character flaw, but I’m scared I willl NEVER be happy with what I have (which is quite possible since this is what my grandma continues to suffer from)

I just think I think too much .. or I think people just think TOO little. Ughhh, they say focus on ME, but what I want has to do with others, so I really don’t know, but i DO know I’ve reached a boiling point and it’s toppling over..& no one seems to hold the lid.