I don’t know why anyone would OPT to be alone every night, to sleep alone, to not have anyone or anything to look forward to. To not have someone to cry to, to complain to, to ask advice from, to laugh wit, to call just to say hello, wusup, and goodnight. To not hear your phone ring amost every hour because of some ridiculously random or mundane text from that other person. To not have someone that will take care of you when your sick, to love you when your hurt, and to pick you up when you’ve fallen. To always know someone has you on their mind and in their heart. To never have to eat alone, to enjoy movies alone, to even watch the damn Olympics alone. To just be able to look at someone again, sometimes and without a word, noticing a smile just crack on your face. To sit on the bed for hours on end, on the phone, with him on his too, endlessly creating games of Scramble with Friends with each other until your 15 coins per every however many minutes are all up. To not need to have your guard up, trying to prove to everyone else who you can be. To not have to be so fucking depressed after endless nights of hard partying because you’ll always have him to hold you until you go to sleep & to still be there in the morning when you awake to a new, bright, and sober day. To know you’re going to be safe soon in their arms even when you’re crying so hard that you choke on your own tears because it feels like you’re never going to be right again in ur own damn mind.  To know that all these things are done unconditionally, without ever a burden to the other person because they fucking care that much about you. 

Damn, I just want a calm and path/goal-oriented life again. To be moving forward instead of standing still again. Some people are just not programmed to withstand this type of independence, i guess.